Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Long Distance Relationship Advice: What to Consider Before Making The Commitment

Relationships require a lot of work and distance makes it even harder which is why a lot of couples choose to just give it up. I admit that being in a long distance relationship is not easy but I believe that when two people really love each other, they are going to do everything to make it work. It all depends how much you want to make things work. Sure you can pick up a long distance relationship advice here and there but are you willing to compromise? Are you willing to put an effort to make the relationship work?

Before jumping into this kind of relationship or before you decide to go on with it, you and your partner should have a serious talk so you'll know if you share the same goals. If one of you does not want the same thing then the relationship is bound to fail. A relationship will not see the light of day if only one person cares enough or worst if the two people involved don't take things seriously. LDRs are not for people who just want to fool around. It's not something that will kill your boredom or something that will be better than not having someone at all.

Love and trust are a given requirement in any relationship but will they be enough? The answer is simply NO. There are a lot of things you need to consider if you want your relationship to survive. You have to figure out a plan and talk how much time you have to spend apart so the other person won't have to wait in vain. The most difficult part in being in a LDR is the uncertainty. You have to discuss this kind of stuff in all honesty and you always have to think what is the best thing to do for both parties involved. Having a plan is very important; it serves as a guide for whatever steps you need to take. Do you plan on getting married eventually? How long do you have to wait for you to be together? How often can you see each other? Do you have the money to see each other as often as you like? Don't go on with the relationship without clarity because this will definitely lead to a strain of frustration and disappointment.

Another thing to consider before engaging in a LDR is communication. While there are different modes of communication to choose from, it still boils down to making the effort to talk to each other every single day. The frequency and quality of communication with your partner should be substantially increased. Are you willing to pay for higher phone bills from now on? Are you willing to go the extra mile just to talk to your partner every night? If you are a little worried of the amount of money you would have to spend on communication, don't worry because there are cheap ways on how you can connect. Why not try Skype or Gtalk? They are free and all you need is a computer. If you want to call your special someone's phone then you can take advantage of the Skype monthly unlimited subscription. For less than $7, you can pick a country (where your partner resides obviously) and call them unlimited! I've been using it for two years now and it made life much easier for me. Talk to your partner and make it clear how often you need to talk. My boyfriend and I talk twice a day (morning and bedtime) and we never missed. Of course the frequency of your communication will all depend on your needs. The most valuable long distance relationship advice I can give you is to make sure that you don't let a day pass without hearing from each other. It's one of the most important things you can do to make the relationship work.



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Friday, June 15, 2012

How To Stop Chronic Nail Biting

I know you are ready to eliminate this habit... Once and for all. In order to make a lifelong change, you need to do some self exploration and determine "why" you choose to bite your nails. Once you become aware, you WILL be able to change your behavior and enjoy the confidence and increased self-esteem gained from knowing that you are in control of the habit.

Ask your self... WHY DO I BITE MY NAILS?

Well... the answer varies from person to person and for that very reason, the answer of How to stop chronic nail biting will also vary. Luckily there are several options available to choose from.

I firmly believe, as with any habit or addiction, it is important to identify the "root cause". It is very difficult to conquer a habit and find the appropriate solution... Something that will work for you... unless you know what the triggers are.

Identify when and why you resort to nail biting or chewing. Some triggers that may lead to biting your nails include

STRESS
NERVOUSNESS
BOREDOM
MEDICAL / EMOTIONAL DISORDER

OK... so now that you are hopefully aware of what your personal triggers are, let's look at some solutions or interventions.

SELF - HELP INTERVENTIONS
As I 'm sure you are aware (and probably already tried) there are several methods you can try that are based on determination or replacement.

These include

1. chewing gum
2. sitting on your hands
3. Rubber bands
4. Gloves
5. Monetary Reward
6. Bandages

PHYSICAL INTERVENTIONS

Physical Interventions would include things that you can try to eliminate the habit. These types of treatments include

1. Aversion therapies or taste deterrents
2. Replacement therapy
3. Investing in false nails
4. bite plate or teeth guard

While each of these strategies can assist you to stop chewing your nails, I have generally seen more success when it is coupled with a solution that focuses on changing your mindset.

CHANGE YOUR MINDSET - BEHAVIORAL INTERVENTIONS

HABIT REVERSAL: Habit reversal may be deemed one of the most successful treatments to stop chronic nail biting. With this technique, the person becomes aware of the behavior and then combines it with a competing response to interfere or physical intervention. You learn to identify the triggers and "unlearn the habit". Combining two approaches... one physical and one emotional.
Engaging in this type of transformation process is beneficial to anyone. The techniques you learn from the emotional basis will undoubtedly be relevant and useful with any other habits and life changes you are looking to make whether it be smoking, weight loss... anything. It is all about adjusting your mindset -

Couple that with a physical intervention and you have a winner!

HYPNOSIS: Hypnosis is effective for many people wanting to change a behavior. It is designed to re-program your mind. This is not necessarily considered a conventional method however it is definitely effective, if you allow it to be. In the past, hypnosis was often "out of reach" due to cost or time commitment however that has all changed. There are many programs you can purchase online and listen to whenever it is conveneient for you. If you really having difficulty with learning how to stop chronic nail biting, I would definitely try one out.

GOOD LUCK... WITH DETERMINATION and some strategies, YOU WILL SUCCEED!



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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Don't Over Indulge - Just Like Many Things and Switch It Up Early and Often

Everything is okay in moderation they say, and it appears at least in this case that "they" may in fact be right - so chock one up for the elusive wisdom of the crowds I'd say. Why do you suppose that humans like sugary foods? Perhaps for the same reason they enjoy being in an altered state of mind. This may explain why people eat too many sweets, get fat and have diabetes, or why people get addicted to drugs and alcohol. Okay so let's talk shall we?

If the human body has evolved to enjoy such things, and there must be a reason for it, such as humans like sweets because the fruits they were eating in their diet helped them survive and thrive, therefore they developed a taste for them. Thus, how could it be bad to eat more fruit? It gets back to that; all things are okay in moderation comment.

Not long ago, there was an interesting feature on Accelerating Intelligence, the Ray Kurzweil website titled; "The Evolutionary Origins of Optimism," posted on June 13, 2012, which quoted from the book; "Rainy Brain, Sunny Brain," by Elaine the Fox;

"Optimistic realists, whom I consider to be the true optimists, don't believe that good things will come if they simply think happy thoughts. Instead, they believe at a very deep level that they have some control over their own destinies," and;

"The function of our pleasure system is to entice us into doing things that are biologically good for us. This is why delicious food, especially in the company of family and friends, is one of the great pleasures of life. Because the experience of pleasure is fleeting, the pursuit of pleasure can all too easily spiral out of control, sometimes tipping into dangerous risk taking and addictions."

Indeed, if you drink too much alcohol you will have a terrible headache and hangover, and it should teach your lesson. If you eat too much fruit all at once you will become sick to your stomach, another lesson not to over indulge. You see, there seems to also be an evolutionary process to counter overindulgence. The question is are you listening to your body, and is the language I am speaking to you making sense?

There's a reason for all this, and to negate that fact would be to do so in ignorance. Does this mean you should do what feels good? Yes, but again only in moderation, don't go off the deep end, and perhaps that's my message to you today. Indeed I hope you will please consider all that think on it.



This article is brought to you by MATCH.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Rehabilitation Programs at Alcohol Treatment Centers Offer Extensive Holistic Therapies

Many of us think that alcoholism is untreatable, but this is wrong because alcohol rehab programs are designed to meet the needs of alcoholics who are devastating their lives under the influence of alcohol. Alcohol rehabilitation program offers you the hope to dream of a life free from alcoholism through its holistic therapies.

When you are overpowered by alcohol, you lose control over yourself, which even drags you toward crisis situations. It is better to throw alcohol out of your life so that you and your loved ones can lead a happy, prosperous life without any kind of fear. In this regard, you must seek counseling from a professional counselor, who would guide you through the entire process and show you the way toward a better life. Counselors at the alcohol treatment centers would also guide you to choose the program that would best suit your state of alcoholism.

Your enrolment into any of the alcohol treatment centers will ensure that you are on the right track of recovery. You will receive several holistic therapies, such as life skill training, wellness therapy, behavioral therapy, stress management therapy, psychotherapy, relapse prevention therapy, so that your recovery is complete and there is no room for relapse. Besides pastoral counseling and Christ teaching sessions will help you stay focused on the right track.

Rehabilitation Programs

To begin with, you will undergo detoxification, which is the complete elimination of alcoholic traces from your body and mind. This will ensure that no chemical trace is left inside your body, which might produce cravings later. As withdrawal might result in pain, forcing you to relapse, holistic approach will ensure that your mental and physical dependence on chemical substances is ended and the recovery from alcoholism is complete.

Counseling is a great approach to cleanse the mind of the addict so that chemical dependency is ended and no room is left for relapse. Therapists will ensure that you undergo various physical therapies so that your body becomes accustomed to practicing restraint from alcohol and that you have all the skills in your kitty to doing so. Cognitive behavioral therapy will focus on your mental and psychological wellbeing so that you can easily mingle with the society at large and that it does not result in triggers. You would also learn how to manage stress and anxiety and keep their levels down. Slowly, you will realize that these have no place in your life.

Inter-socialization skills will ensure that you are a changed human being, with better socialization skills, showing responsibility toward society. As a changed human being, you can become a brand ambassador of the alcohol rehab program, guiding other struggling alcoholics to walk on the path of sobriety by quitting alcohol.

Your nutritionist will help you realize the role a proper diet in enhancing your fitness levels and keeping you away from addictive substances. You would learn to depend on a balanced diet. It is a known fact that a physically weak body craves for other supplements, suppressants, and depressants, such as alcohol or intoxicants. Contrarily, a physically stronger body is less likely to yearn for intoxicants. If the need arises, you can always bank on nutritional supplements to back up your diet program. These therapies, including yoga, meditation, massage, will also ensure that there is no place for relapse in your life.

Alcohol treatment centers are a true friend to an addicted individual. Choose any of the treatment centers if you, too, want to join the list of individuals who have recovered completely from the clutches of alcohol addiction.



This article is brought to you by SINGLES.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Seven Long Distance Dating Survival Tips

A long distance relationship requires commitment, strong ties to each other, telling the truth and being totally honest with one another. To endure it requires two people who genuinely love each other. The type of long distance relationship I am talking about is overseas dating or international dating. This is truly a long distance relationship.

Being in this type of relationship is one of the hardest things you can do, but well worth it. Being away from someone who you have come to love can be emotionally draining but here are some tips that may help.

1. You must communicate regularly. A combination of emails, phone calls, instant messages, Skype or webcam sessions are great ways to communicate in a long distance relationship. With work, and other daily obligations, communication can be the first thing to go. Try to set up a daily routine. The best time is usually at the end of the day when you both can discuss how your day went. Even a few minutes together every day to connect and check in with each other can produce amazing results.

2. Another nice thing can be to surprise them with a call or text message about how much you miss them or love them. An occasional unexpected voice mail, email or text can go far in showing them you are thinking of them during the day.

3. You will both have to make compromises at times. You may need to forego weekend plans or stay home from a party so you can connect with your sweetheart by phone, webcam or text. When you do go out with friends or family, be sure to tell your partner what you are doing and make a point to include them in your daily activities so they have a better understanding of your life and how you spend your time. Keep them included in your life. Make time for them. Even if you have to work all weekend, make sure you connect and let them know you are thinking about them.

4. Set up a time one weekend every now and then for them as well. Plan to goof off on the webcam and talk on the phone and just talk about your childhood, funny things that have happened to you and your hopes and dreams for the future. Listen to your partners stories as well. These times are so valuable for really getting to know someone.

5. You have to trust that your partner is being faithful and committed to you. It can be hard to trust and it is perfectly natural for bad thoughts to creep into your mind from time to time. Be sure to talk this out with your sweetheart. Jealousy and distrust will not hold you together. Honesty and communication will.

6. Don't ever assume you know what your partner is doing or thinking. If you have doubts or questions about something, ask! Communicating by email is especially difficult because you can not see the other person's face or hear the tone in their voice. You may misinterpret an email and if you don't ask about it, you could create hard or negative feelings without even realizing it.

7. Keep the romance alive by telling your partner how much they mean to you. Don't hesitate to send a spontaneous email or text. Let them know you are thinking about them. Let them know you miss them and try to always plan your next meeting so there is something positive to look forward to and talk about.

This may seem like a lot to take in but it will be well worth it when you are finally together. A couple that has survived a long distance relationship is stronger and their relationship is built on a firm foundation of communication, trust and patience. Good luck and enjoy getting to know each other one day at a time!



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My Life Changes

"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."

I heard the news tonight that a friend of mine has just passed away. He had cancer and although it really upset me at first, I know that he is now spared the pain and misery and may he rest forever in peace. I have been sitting up all night reflecting on the days we were close friends. It was during my twenties when wild parties and free flowing alcohol was all part of the fun. I am in awe of how my life has changed since then.

During my late thirties, the alcohol had started taking its toll on my health and my life. After a near death attempt at trying to stop cold turkey, I booked myself into rehab and stayed sober for the next eight years. The first thing I did on leaving rehab was to visit the local AA group but unfortunately the lack of support from my family and a personal problem I had with the chairperson, hurting my pride and threatening my ego, I stopped going to meetings. I threw myself into working flat out all day in a demanding job, returning home in the evenings to do housework and raising my two sons as a single mother. I was miserable, unhappy and lonely.

When the shit hit the fan - divorce, bad health, depression and the loss of my job - I did what any untreated alcoholic would do - went on the band wagon again. For the next six years I was in and out of relationships, in and out of hospitals and even a visit back to rehab could not stop me from relapsing. Just over two years ago, my appendix decided to take a trip behind the back of my colon and burst. It took the doctors three days and an MRI scan to pick up the problem but by then my whole system was poisoned. The next two months of recovery from surgery, carrying around a vacuum attached to my stomach, was my saving grace. I had time to take stock of my life and realized I had to take a second chance at recovery.

I found an online AA meeting and by the grace of God have been sober since. I have learnt that the drink is only a symptom of alcoholism. There are other underlying causes for my disease. So how has my life changed?

· I have a program which I follow to the best of my ability on a daily basis.

· Pride and ego has no place in my decisions today.

· I am willing to go to any lengths to keep my sobriety.

· I strive to stay open minded and honest with myself and others.

· I take any bad situation and change it into an opportunity to grow.

· I turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts which lead to positive action.

· I do not blame anyone for my wrong doings - only me.

· I have forgiven my past and learnt from my mistakes.

· I have made my amends to those I have hurt and continue to do so.

· I live for today and do not try and foresee future expectations.

· I tolerate those who ridicule me for they do not understand.

· I still have my problems but I have the tools to cope with them.

· I am growing a little more spiritual each day through prayer and meditation.

· I follow positive people and read and listen to motivational material.

· I try and maintain an attitude of gratitude and live life on life's terms.

I feel blessed today. I have nothing materialistic but I have my sobriety and my sanity. I no longer live in fear and hopelessness. I know in my heart that I am doing the best that I can at this moment and this is exactly where I am supposed to be at this time and place. Outside circumstances I cannot change, but I am changing what I can and that is me, from the inside out.

So I once was a rebel and a troublemaker, I probably am still a bit crazy and others may see me as a misfit and a round peg - but I am doing my little bit to change the world. I have made my pledge:

I am responsible.
When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
I want the hand of AA always to be there.
And for that: I am responsible.



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How to Keep a Guy Interested Long Distance

Long distance relationships can work as long as both parties are willing to commit. Of course you have to love and trust each other enough for you to make that commitment. It's not that easy but if you know how to keep a guy interested long distance then there's no reason why you can't make the relationship work. I am a living testament that people can survive in a long distance relationship. My man and I have been together for four years now and we haven't seen each other in person for 3 years. People are always amazed how we do it considering the fact that he lives thousands of miles away from me. There's really no secret but there are a few tips on how to make this kind of relationship survive.

1.) Communication is Key

This is probably the most important aspect of any long distance relationship. Communication is not as problematical as it used to be because there are so many ways on how to keep in touch with someone. Skype, Google Talk, Yahoo Messenger and ooVoo are just some of the things you can use to talk to each other. If you want to keep a guy interested, you have to constantly remind him that you are there for him. Don't let the day pass without sending each other a text message, private message or email. Call each other often if your schedule permits. Hearing your voice everyday will make the distance less painful plus this will keep you firmly on his mind. Give him the assurance that although you may not be there physically, you are just a phone call away if he needs somebody to talk to. Whether he wants to vent or share a good news, he can call anytime. Let your guy know that he is constantly on your mind. Text him sweet messages all the time and let him know that you miss him. Send him sexy messages or photos once in a while. Make him excited in seeing you again. Tell your guy what you are looking forward to when he comes visit you.

2.) Take Advantage of the Web Cam

When you live miles away from each other, web cam will come in handy. Just a quick reminder, don't ever let him see you looking sick or pale. Make the effort to look beautiful by putting on a little makeup (eyeliner, mascara, a little blush and lip stain will do) and fixing your hair. Instead of your usual straight hairdo, why not curl your hair once in a while. Put on clothes that you know will turn him on. Wear something sexy. Whatever starts his engine, do it!

You can use the web cam to bond with your man. Let him watch you cook or do your daily activities. You can also watch a movie together or better yet, pretend you are having a date!

3.) Send him presents

You don't have to be physically together for you to do something special for your man. Send him a box with his favorite things in it. Include items that will also remind him of you. One little thing you can do is to send him your lingerie and spray it with your perfume so he'll be reminded what he's missing. This is surely an effective way on how to keep a guy interested long distance.

Be as creative as possible. Go ahead and come up with themes of all the items you are going to send him to make it more exciting.

LDRs require a lot of work but once you are finally together, every effort you made will be worth it. Love is a critical aspect and so is trust. Without the latter, your relationship wouldn't see the light of day.